Prayer for care of parents

Dear Friends and Partners in the Gospel;

Happy New year to each of you. We are rejoicing that Christ's mercies are "new every morning" and that we can look back at God's faithfulness in 2011 and look forward to 2012 with hope and confidence that He will never leave us nor forsake us. This is encouraging even as we continue to walk through a situation we find my family in.

I find in scripture that I am to "honor your father and mother" (ex. 20:12), and "if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." (I Tim 5:8). We are also told (and Claudia and I have experienced): "Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, 30 who will not receive a hundredfold…"(Mark 10:28-30). So as we enter a season where our parents are aging and in need of a different type of care and relationship, I find myself seeking wisdom throughout Scripture to understand how to walk out these passages and honor and care for mothers and fathers, even as our Gospel call has us living at great distances from both sets of parents.

I began writing this as I was flying to CA last night on short notice. My dad has been suffering with extreme spinal pain due to two crushed disks that result in pinched nerves. Up until the middle of December this has been managed with pain medication, but due to the side effects (confusion, instability etc…) he unintentionally over medicated himself and had to spend most of that week and a few days beyond Christmas in ICU. My father is a strong willed individual, and managed to have himself released from the hospital against the doctor's recommendations. He is a candidate for spinal surgery which would possibly alleviate the majority of nerve pain, but he could lose his candidacy if he does further damage, or rejects the Doctor's current care. My mom is not doing well herself, and cannot manage his medications, so after his hospital "escape", we convinced him to stay in a care home run by family friends, but by New Years Eve he once again removed himself and was back in their 3 story, split level home filled with stares he simply cannot navigate. The day after his return home, it was obvious that his being there was an unhealthy situation for both of my parents.  My sister has been attending doctor's appointments and attempting to manage things to the best of her ability from her home two hours away in Sacramento, but we must come up with a different, short term solution leading up to the surgery, as well as a long term solution post surgery.

There is much more to this situation than I cannot share here, but I do ask for your prayers in the following areas:

• Wisdom, grace, patience and discernment for myself as I work with my parents on many fronts including finances, properties, living arrangements, care leading up to a possible spinal surgery and long term care thereafter.
• The physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health of both parents.
• It is every one's desire (save my dad's) that he come back to Miami with me at least up until his potential surgery. Pray that the glimpses of compromise I've seen will open up to a willingness to do so.
• My ability to care for my parents while I'm here, yet cover my own family back at home, manage the demands at work (my boss has been extremely gracious in providing me time away from the office, yet there are multiple things that I cannot simply "drop").
• For rest in the midst of a difficult time. We are all emotionally taxed which has manifested itself in physical exhaustion.

Thank you all for your prayers, encouragement and love both for my immediate family as well as my parents.  Please understand that this is obviously a sensitive issue for my parents, so for those of you near them, unless already involved, please do not feel the need to initiate with them but please do intercede for us all. I am grateful to have numerous "advisers" assisting me with regards to medical care, property and long term care. Thank you for your understanding and once again, we so value your prayers.

In His Hands / En Sus manos;

Kevin S. Abegg